Little bit of of a change up today. Would you Wednesday instead of a WYR.

Pick the person you’d have sex with if you could do it with anyone in the whole world- guilt free, no consequences, no one would ever find out (unless you wanted them to). Got them in mind? Okay, good.

The scenario: You get to have sex with them, but there are a few conditions.

1. It has to be a part of a threesome.
2. You have to have sex with the other person too.
3. The other person is not at all attractive.
4. They are of the opposite gender than what you normally prefer.

Would you do it?

I would. For Channing Tatum’s body I would have sex with almost any girl in the world.

Feel free to tell who your one person is along with your answer.

Who’s surprised I didn’t pick Lil Wayne?

Check out my lover LiLu’s WYRW this week.

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In other news, fellow 20sber Phampants is campaigning to be part of the 2010 ford fiesta team. Want to know more? He made the video below to show them why he and his friend Karen are the best fit for the job. Check it out below. Come on, Ford! Pick John and Karen!

Would you rather

work a regular 8-5 shift 5 days (M-F) a week

or

work an overnight shift (lets say 7pm to 6am) 4 nights (Sun-W) a week but get paid 10 grand more

things to consider: more money, having the whole weekend free, not being able to get drunk on sundays, ever. friday. off.

(i am working the night shift right now, but for all my lovely coworkers who read this blog, don’t worry, i’m not getting extra money)

Would you rather…

have a “save game” feature on your life?

or

win the lottery?

things to consider: money doesn’t buy happiness (lie). the butterfly effect.

(awesome tiger pic courtesy of JD)

Happy Birthday to me, hookers.

Hope you all got me something good.

I had my heart set on an autotune microphone, but apparently they don’t exist. Whatever, I’ll just train my voice to sound like t-pain’s.

Now for the question…

Would You Rather

go home to your significant other expecting a surprise, only to have them give you a hug and say your present is the best sex of your life (a la Roy’s Valentine’s Day gift to Pam on The Office)

or

have your significant other forget your birthday completely, but after you remind them they get you a fucking sweet gift

things to consider: the sex isn’t necessarily the best of your life– they’re just saying that, sex in general is kind of awesome though, awesome present’s worth has to be something that your current partner (last partner if you’re single) could reasonably get.

- Don’t forget to enter my Starbucks giveaway! There’s no limit on number of entries!

Would you rather:

your butt always smell like it’s dirty, except when you’re actually in water (or the shower)?

or

your breath smell like garlic and salmon that can never be covered up?

things to consider: sex, making out, nose plugs are expensive, attracting wild animals with your breath, shower sex is kind of annoying, never caring about getting garlic breath because you already have it

p.s. if you missed yesterday’s post, check it out. LiLu and I announced the deets to our impending nuptials and the extravaganza is going to be EPIC. And for those of you who asked, we are registered at wal-mart, but anything silly or alcoholic will be accepted. you can also follow everyones tweets about the event by checking #pbandtuna.

Would You Rather…

Be a millionaire, but look like

Madonna, for the ladies -

Carrot Top, for the gentlemen-

things to consider: you look like them now, not back when they looked normal (not sure that ever existed for CT). you are a multi-millionaire. Let’s say you have a 15 million dollar net wealth or something. you don’t have any of their fame, just the money.

OR

be in your current financial situation but look like

Eva Mendes, for the ladies

Jon Hamm, for the gentlemen

BUT have uncureable, horrible halitosis and a unexpected farting “issue”?

(unless you’re current financial situation is “rich.” then you should probably just call me and we’ll get married.)

Things to consider: When I say horrible, I mean intolerable, most disgusting breath. I know people with this. It is not pleasant. And apparently it’s hereditary, so think of the children. Farts smell bad.

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p.s. Check out Ed Adams’ WYWR from last week and this week.

p.p.s. I’ll be in Cleveland this weekend visiting Alexa with Lexa (attack of the x’s!), so if you live in the CLE, I’d love to meet you! Shoot me an email or something. Or just talk to Alexa. You know she’s the queen of coordinating cleveland shenanigans.

On your first day at a new job would you rather… have sudden and runny diarrhea in your pants or pee your pants things to consider:

• you cannot change clothes, but you can use toilet paper to wipe and clean whatever can be wiped.
• you are most likely wearing dark pants, unless you’re one of those people who wears white jeans on the regular– and if you are, you are so dead to me.
• poop can kind of be wiped away
• pee will keep your pants wet for a LONG TIME and the stench is most disgusting
• poop stench can also be pretty bad (duh)
• whether you ate corn for dinner

p.s. I’m sorry for this one, Lexa.

p.p.s. My finance LiLu played along this week. Check out her WYRW.

Today LiLu–my fiance– and Moog from Mental Poo tag team the shit out of Would You Rather Wednesday.  I didn’t ask Moog to guest post because sometimes he sends me these really creepy love poems (v. explicit, btw) and I was worried he may post one of those today. But fear not– I’m sure he won’t have the balls to do that in front of my fiance… will he?

Shit. Maybe this was a bad idea.

Without further delay (because I’m never really sure how to spell adieu) I present to you two of my faves…

p.s. Don’t forget, every comment while I’m gone is an entry for a free voucher for gap jeans.

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Hi there! I’m LiLu. You may know me from such adventures as TMI Thursdays, or Maxie and I are getting married.

So, obviously when my fiancee called on me to guest post for her, I called dibs on a WYR Wednesday. Because, gross = it’s what I do. But then I realized if this was really going to be worthy of her readers, I needed to call for back up. So I went to the expert, my dear pal Moog from Mental Poo. And boy, did he deliver.

We bantered about being forced to watch a Rachael Ray and Whoopi Goldberg sex tape at a ridiculously high decibel.

We debated boning Pam Anderson without protection.

We considered doing versions of the game ”marry, boff, kill” for both the guys and the ladies.

(The winners? For the women, the freecreditreport.com guy, Perez Hilton, and now-fat Screech from Saved By The Bell. For the menfolk, Joan Rivers, Fran Drescher, and Oprah.)

We toyed with the task of babysitting the Duggar AND Gosselin kids for a week at camp.

And then… then Moog said this.

Would you rather have to count the stretch marks on Octomom using only your tongue, or find Brett Michaels an actual girlfriend?

And I told him, our work here is done.

Reminder: Want to win a free pair of gap jeans? Just comment on Monday’s post before Wednesday at midnight and you’ll be entered!

In honor of my favorite thing to EVER happen on the Internet, We Are Cosmo, I bring you this WYRW question…

would you rather..

be hooking up with someone and without warning get a finger up your butt

things to consider: I’ve heard that it feels okay…not that I would know. let’s assume the finger nails are trimmed.

or

be hooking up with someone and without warning, while they’re “down there”, feel a tongue IN your asshole

(just the tip. but not just for a second.)

things to consider: having someone be all up in your buttcrack WITH THEIR MOUTH. the surprise causing you to fart. i heard it feels good… that one I actually don’t know. or do i? and, as my best friend said, “there’s really no way to make eye contact with a person after they, without invitation, engage your asshole in a rim job”

p.s. I don’t know what this question has to do with We Are Cosmo, other than the fact that I always ask Ben questions about anal play. And it embarrasses him. High five.

p.s. Enter my giveaway.

It’s the moment of truth, you guys…

Would you rather:

be a tiger

or

be a shark

things to consider: tigers are beautiful and majestic. sharks are ulgy. tigers can run fast, sharks die if they are out of water. Tigers can swim. A tiger cub can defeat a 25-foot python in a battle (google it).

p.s. I wanted to make this WYR question “would you rather fight or fuck a tiger”, but I decided that was way easy since I told you on Monday that Tigers are gentle and considerate lovers, but you can go ahead and answer that one too if you want.

other awesome shit you should read:

Jenn’s tiger-themed Would You Rather Wednesday

LiLu gives a demonstartion of top-notch tiger hands

Cheddar lets us know why you too can be a convert and realize that tigers are way better than sharks.

A New Beginning shares a very sweet video about Lions (close enough).

(did i miss you? let me know)

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*Don’t forget to enter Jenn’s and my Tiger Week contest by showing us your awesome tiger hands.

Want to win some awesome tiger swag and a pair of GAP’s new 1969 jeans? Don’t forget to enter our contest — submit a picture of your best looking tiger hands, and Jenn and I will pick the winner.

The rules are:

• You can send your tiger hands picture to us by email – tigersarebetterthansharks [at] gmail [dot] com
• All entries must be received by 5 pm EST on Thursday, August 13th. Winners will be announced on Friday, and all of the photos will be posted as well.
• You can get one extra entry for tweeting about the contest (and commenting back here with the link.)
• You can get two extra entries for making a video of your tiger hands (and commenting back here with the YouTube/Vimeo link.)
• You can get three extra entries for writing a Tiger Week blog post about how tigers are better than sharks (and commenting back here with the link.)