About Maxie:

Maxie, founder of ihatesomuch.com, is a 28-year-old lady living in Washington, DC, but originally hails from wild, wonderful West Virginia.

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November 11, 2011

A some of you may remember, I have an adorable cat named Diane Lane. She is my little fluffy princess, but a few months ago she got fleas. (!!!DISGUSTING!!!)

The problem kept getting worse and worse, so I decided to send her to live in West Virginia with my mom for a while so she could get treatment AND not be miserable. Before anyone flips out and says I’m irresponsible and an asshole, please know that I gave her medication and flea bathed her MANY times — nothing did the trick. I’m happy to report that after about 12 hours in West Virginia she was almost flea-free. I planned to go home that weekend and visit her so she wouldn’t forget about me and such. The day I was scheduled to go, I received this email from my mom:

Dear Mommy Maxie,

I am enjoying my vacation somewhat.  I pretty much have my own room with a private bathroom and an adjoining fun room.  And I have free access to the rest of the bed and breakfast facility.  There are three other felines who live here full time, and one canine.

Yesterday,  I slept behind your old computer monitor.  When Grandma came upstairs calling my name, she was worried because I was nowhere to be found.  Finally when she wouldn’t stop calling my name, I popped up behind your old monitor with a big stretch.  It was difficult to climb over the monitor so that Grandma could pet me.  After awhile upstairs by myself, I went downstairs.

The canine went outside for awhile.  Molly taught me how to jump on the chair and then onto the kitchen countertop to get to the faucet.  It’s a bit tricky but I have pretty good balance.  And Molly doesn’t bother me.

But that Abby, she is always hissing.  Grandma scolds her, but she keeps doing it anyway.  Katrina just kind of minds her own business.  Molly and I had fun drinking from the spigot this morning.  And eating tuna.  Abby eats on the table, and Katrina eats on the other kitchen counter because Molly will steal her tuna if she can get to it.

I spent some of the time on the kitchen table on those old brown zebra striped sheets you used to have.  Grandma leaves all of the curtains in my private room open so I can sit on the window sills and look down all the way to the ground.  I also like the window sill in the kitchen.

It’s okay being with Grandma, except for the times she picked me up to take me into another room.  Otherwise she’s okay.

I will see you tonight.  I love you.

Diane

Yep, if there was ever a mystery about whether my mom raised me, I’m pretty sure this email solved it.

—-

p.s. This week I posted another What Would You Do? column (this one’s about what to do when you  find out your man is cheating!) and a compilation of the Best Covers on YouTube on Twenties Hacker. Have you read them yet? You should.

 

10 Comments »

  1. cari says:

    I bet they weren’t fleas. I bet they were glitter. That ish doesn’t go away, and I know your place is covered in it.

    [Reply]

    November 11th, 2011 at 8:58 am

  2. Kelly says:

    Well at least now I’m prepared for when my mom starts writing full-fledged letters and emails from her cat to me, instead of just birthday cards. Y’all are clearly related.

    [Reply]

    November 11th, 2011 at 9:29 am

  3. Other Internet Things That Were Great, Week 7 says:

    [...] Edith Zimmerman, editor at my favorite site The Hairpin, discusses what it’s like to feel culturally irrelevant at 28. [...]

    November 11th, 2011 at 1:01 pm

  4. katelin says:

    haha, love this. definitely just made me giggle at my desk.

    [Reply]

    November 11th, 2011 at 4:18 pm

  5. Paula says:

    Haha! Your mum ROCKS!

    My mum once sent me a christmas card from my Winnie the Pooh hot water bottle.

    I was about 20 years old.

    [Reply]

    November 12th, 2011 at 11:27 am

  6. The Singleship says:

    This is amazing. Once when I was at sleepaway camp my Dad wrote me a letter about how our dog went missing during a power outage and he had to go out searching for her with a flashlight. I’m just thinking now how much better it would’ve been if it was told from the dog’s perspective!

    I so love that your cat is named Diane Lane, too.

    [Reply]

    November 12th, 2011 at 6:29 pm

  7. Mel says:

    Ha, love it.

    [Reply]

    November 13th, 2011 at 1:31 pm

  8. Vanessa says:

    Bahaha. That’s awesome. :D

    [Reply]

    November 25th, 2011 at 10:57 am

  9. Emily says:

    hahaha You are SO your mother’s daughter.

    [Reply]

    January 19th, 2012 at 1:51 pm

  10. Maggie says:

    Everyone is staring at me because I just started busting out laughing while reading this. Dont worry, I will share it. :)

    Visit my blog, http://www.borntobeblonde.com I have alot of the same humor.

    [Reply]

    February 10th, 2012 at 10:02 am

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