OR HOW ABOUT NOT.
Dearest blogosphere– I have a problem. I have a co-worker who whistles.
It gets worse.
She doesn’t even whistle a SONG. She just… twirps. Like she’s a fucking bird or something.
If it happens again today I have a few different plans of attack.
1) Sing along. I’ll follow her lead and just sing the notes at the top of my lungs. One day I will video tape myself singing so y’all can hear my BEAUTIFUL voice. (feel free to ask Deutlich about how awesome it is)
2) Sing the lyrics to whistle while you work. I have a strange feeling that she will find this hilarious and continue to whistle more and more often. Maybe not such a good idea.
3) Fart on her face. What? too much?
Ideas? Anyone?
alexa says:
i whistle ALL the time at work. you hate me don’t you.
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August 26th, 2008 at 5:58 am
mandy says:
I have a co-worker who does this as well and I hate it! Its so annoying.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:00 am
Ben says:
I just crinkle food bags incessantly. Don’t hate.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:02 am
Tricia says:
I used to have a co-worker who whistled all the time. Other co-workers and I emailed snarky comments around and all snickered at him behind his back. IT was fun.
Now I have a co-worker who plays an imaginary trumpet to herald his arrival. I miss the whistling.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:11 am
TexPat says:
you have a twirper?? jesus. i would fart on her face. for sure.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:20 am
dmb5_libra says:
i hate that shit!
i vote clicking your pen along because gets annoying after 5 seconds. or you could just push her out a window. whatever works.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:40 am
verybadcat says:
I bet if you would record her and play it back in the office, you might could get her to stop………
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Moardy says:
Ohhhhh – I hate crap like that!
I have a girl that sits in the next office that sings (like an injured cat) to herself ALL the time.
I tried to mention to her once that I could hear her – in a nice way – by saying “Listen to you rocking out to Bon Jovi!” (read: yes, I and the rest of the office CAN hear you).
To which she replied “oh, that’s not the CD – that’s ME singing!!”
Sigh.
So if you find something that works – please post it.
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August 26th, 2008 at 7:02 am
mon says:
hmmm make eveyr day a food day at the office. bring only dry foods. make it your mission to hide her beverages whenever she gets up. You cant whistle with a dry mouth.
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August 26th, 2008 at 7:05 am
poodlegoose says:
Take the passive-aggressive route and sigh really loudly every time she starts. That’s what one of my co-workers used to do when a girl would get on her nerves. I’m pretty sure that’s more annoying.
And if that doesn’t work, seriously for real, fart in her face. She’ll totally get the idea.
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August 26th, 2008 at 7:13 am
thatShortChick says:
wow…twirping. that’s in a whole other realm of ridiculous annoyance.
i think recording her and playing it back for her to hear, like verybadcat said, would be devilishly funny and would get the point across. hopefully.
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August 26th, 2008 at 7:47 am
ice, ice baby « DC is my Manhattan says:
[...] ice, ice baby It’s vent about annoying co-workers day!! [...]
August 26th, 2008 at 8:03 am
Pithy says:
Wanna trade? I have an gum-smacking ice muncher.
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August 26th, 2008 at 8:06 am
deutlich says:
definitely fart on her face
and DO NOT SING
please.
for the love of all things shiney
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August 26th, 2008 at 8:25 am
Matt says:
Thats how you get pink eye.
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August 26th, 2008 at 8:43 am
hillary says:
I have a co-worked who clips his nails at his desk. I would take your whistler over my nail-clipper any day.
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August 26th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Tony says:
Next time she’s out of her cube or whatever, announce very loudly that you’re going to the bathroom. Go to her desk, climb on top, and commence peeing on EVERYTHING. She WILL come in while you’re doing it. Just stare at her and finish. Don’t break eye contact…and then start whistling. Oh yeah…it’s happening.
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August 26th, 2008 at 9:55 am
downbeat says:
Maybe just tell her you’re going to fart on her face.
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August 26th, 2008 at 10:07 am
well-intentioned heartbreaker says:
sing. do it. don’t listen to these people. they’re bad for you.
make sure you stop at the EXACT time she stops whistling. and be ready at all times to pick back up when she starts.
go on now, BELT IT.
ps. hillary – i have the same thing. fucking disgusting or what?
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August 26th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Lacey Bean says:
Start humming random notes. See if she says anything – if she does, just mention that you thought it was a company thing, and you were just trying to be part of the team.
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August 26th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Nilsa says:
Finally, a chance to read your blog, get you into my Reader and actually comment on your blog.
Whistling at work? That’s such a big no-no. I say walk over to her with a glass of milk and a straw. Stick one end of the straw in her mouth (as she’s whistling) and the other end in the glass of milk. Step back. And watch. Likely, she won’t know how to stop whistling. And eventually the milk will bubble over the top. It might not stop her from whistling, but it’d be damn funny to watch.
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August 26th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Maria says:
My coworker? Talks in baby talk, a southern accent, uses voices (Arnold Schwarzenegger is a favorite) and sings. Also, she spends all day on the phone with her ho-dunk family.
ARRRGH. Whistling is just as annoying. So sorry you deal with that shit!
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August 26th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Chris says:
Hahaha. Remember my coworker’s laugh? God I wish I had gotten that recorded.
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August 26th, 2008 at 10:59 am
rs27 says:
I would throw a small animal at her
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August 26th, 2008 at 11:00 am
raych says:
a) throw some bird seed at her (or leave a bag of bird seed on her desk)
b) loudly say “is that a bird? dying?”
c) bring a cat to work and when someone asks you what it’s for, say “to catch that gat-damned bird that’s hiding in here somewhere ….”
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August 26th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Paula says:
The singing option sounds good to me – failing that, the farting option. Other than that . . . anonymous all-staff memo about how whistling is banned as of right now???
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August 26th, 2008 at 11:47 am
courtney says:
the first option immediately reminded me of the first shrek movie, when fiona and the little bird and singing and tweeting, and eventually fiona’s voice blew the bird UP.
i vote for that option.
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August 26th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Megkathleen says:
I’m a fan of the farting option. That would really get your point across.
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August 26th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
nicopolitan says:
#3! Oh please God #3!
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August 26th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Confused says:
Go with the singing. By the sound of it, it’ll make her ears bleed and quit her job immediately. You might want to warn any coworkers you like working with to be ill that day…
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August 26th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Sarah says:
I worked with an old guy that would whistle NONSTOP. It used to drive me up the freaking wall. Fortunately I never had to confront him about it because I moved my desk out of ear range. For comedic value, I think you should sing along to her whistling
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August 26th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
sforshner says:
I just think it would be so funny if you sang along. How weird would she think that is? It would have to be along with her like you said. Then when she looks at you strangely just smile at her. I bet you would make her feel uncomfortable enough to stop.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Dan Mega says:
Start burping on every 4th beat. Keep time with the whistling.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Narm says:
Can you fart to the tune of whistle while you work? I think THAT would be the best plan of attack.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
emrlds says:
fart and sing. at the same time. maybe sing about your farts.
for the record, i HATE whistling.
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August 26th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Chelsea Talks Smack says:
Whistles?!?!?!?!?!?! I don’t even know how to do that, that would get VERRRRRRY irritating,I am so sorry.
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August 26th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Jessica says:
I find putting duct tape over their mouth helps get the message across pretty well but if you don’t want to do that, slapping her across the face and telling her to shut the f*ck up works too.
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August 26th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Joy @ Big Time Fancy says:
DEFINITELY fart on her face. No question.
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August 27th, 2008 at 8:09 am
tiedtogetherwithasmile says:
A guy I work with hums loudly to the tune of the Willy Wonka Oompa Loompa song. I want to throw a shoe at him every time. You should sing in a falsetto voice or sing to imitate her whistling. If that doesn’t work start putting her stuff in jell-o.
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August 27th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
E.P. says:
Eh. That’s obnoxious. If my coworker did this (especially the one who shares a room with me), I’d be especially annoyed.
Maybe sing the song? Tell her to shut up?
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August 27th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
i hate so much… » The almost perfect weekend. says:
[...] like every word she says to me or about me makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out. Yes–the whistler has struck again, but now she has added the blame game, stupidity, and complaining to her [...]
September 8th, 2008 at 8:53 am
i hate so much… » The Camera says:
[...] I bring you the sequel to The Whistler. This tale I am about to tell you is far less annoying on the surface than listening to [...]
September 18th, 2008 at 3:07 am
B Money says:
Wow. I have no idea how I got to this pot but how fortuitous. I have a whistler in my office… My boss. She LOVES to listen to soft Jazz of the worst type. It’s all completely terrible. Fortunately she wears headphones Unfortunately, she then whistles long, slow, toneless, horrifically piercing “songs” for hours on end. When she’s on the whistling kick I will find myself with a sore neck/jaw from clenching all day to contain the RAGE. The only solution: noise canceling headphones. They’re expensive but worth every penny. The only downside is between songs catching a “riff” of the toneless shrill noise almost sends me through the roof.
Ahh. Feeling better. Thanks for that.
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October 1st, 2008 at 2:57 pm
i hate so much… » Would You Rather Wednesday as a Vlog! says:
[...] my co-workers so you can know what they look like! There may or may not be an apperance from the whistler AND Mandy’s favorite governor! Please ignore the part where I talk about not paying my [...]
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:49 am
i hate so much… » I Win. says:
[...] week The Whistler was out “taking care of her men” while they spent the week hunting so the rest of the [...]
December 9th, 2008 at 5:31 am
Mike Mike says:
i have found that earplugs inside the ear and then headphones with music on helps very much. we play sound clips here at work when the one problem guy here starts acting up, which is every day. here’s the circumstances: the late 40s aged guy in one of the cubicles here at work, we’ll just call him “Len”, he is a whistler also. he is also a nail clipper. and he is a little hard of hearing from years of loud music and that all adds oh so much joy for us coworkers. he doesn’t seem to notice his own flatulance all day long. he slurps his coffee loudly. he chews with his mouth open and that makes loud squishing chomping noises, like a famished billy goat perhaps? when he puts on headphones and listens to music, i can hear it loud and clear and he is stuck in the late 70s, early to mid 80s. and then he hums loudly along to the music, or at times even sings along, and oh what a voice, almost as good as skinning live cats! it gets way worse. that would be when he gets or makes calls on his cell phone. yup, the volume is turned all the way up, to match his voice apparently. so every word about mom’s rash or aunt edna’s warts or the moldy flooded basement comes thru in crystal clear detail. and since he’s started internet dating recently, all the calls and all the intimate details are unfortunately broadcast thruout the office whether we want to hear them or not. if i hear the phrase ‘beef injection’ one more time…
Aaah. he has just started whistling again as i sit here and type this comment, seriously. i think i’ll just stab my eardrums with a fork. anybody have a fork i can borrow?
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April 7th, 2009 at 10:45 am
kimberkley says:
yeah i’m at this page because i am trying to find a solution to the idiot whistler at my work place. there’s no tune or anything- just mindless whistling. oh and he BATHES in cheap god-awful cologne too. really, i don’t know what’s worse? idiot.
but seriously, tony’s suggestion was freaking hysterical:pee on her desk and look at her and whistle. omg!!
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July 12th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Heather says:
Ha! Thats great.
We have a guy that actually tries to whistle like a bird and walk by really fast so you dont know its him and your all “oh my god theres a bird in the office”
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July 21st, 2009 at 10:48 am
Dave says:
OMG — you people are describing the guy I work with … only he does ALL the above. He loudly slurps his coffee then follows each slurp with a long “ahhhhhhh.” He does this constant inner burping that sounds like he’s trying to keep from vomitting. He clears his throat to the tune of every 5 seconds throughout the day, as if it’s a nervous tick. He also talks so loudly that I can’t hear people who are even standing right at my desk, much less on the phone. He also files his nails (scratch, scratch, scratch — would clip, clip, clip be better maybe — every single day for at least 10 minutes. He also whistles and hums the same top 40’s tune all day long for a week or two at a time so that it gets stuck in your own head. Then because he obviously doesn’t have enough to do he gets up and comes back only leaving long enough to get me excited about the temporary quiet. He’s like a jack in the box. I also believe he’s doing it deliberately to bother me because when he’s in a meeting with others or walking up & down the hall, he doesn’t do any of these things!
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October 20th, 2009 at 6:47 am
Dave says:
I forgot, he also blows his nose all day on the same handkerchief. Each time he fluffs it out, analyzes it front & back at eye level (so that you can see all the boogers and snot on it as well) and folds it the same way before blowing his nose. This ritual takes place every hour almost on the dot.
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October 20th, 2009 at 6:52 am